Today, ladies and gentlemen, I want to talk an important subject.
When one becomes mom, we meet a whole bunch of new features (I'm not going to summarize my blog you know).
There is a new thing that appears, with the arrival of first child: The married life must adapt to a new notion of family life. And our family, broadly defined, will have to adjust too.
By our willingness to become parents, we also give a new role for our parents, our brothers, sisters.
Our parents become grandparents. They pushed for a walk on the stairs of life (Boooo Navy is your metaphor). And also, it's a learning process.
And therefore I am: quite often fusional relations / conflict that we live with our mothers (or stepmothers), will s'instensifier (wow, the angoââââsse!)
Yes, yes. We will be in the middle between our mothers and our children. With grandfathers and fathers are not far away. Even if one has the simplest and most beautiful of mother-daughter relationships, even if all the good wishes of the world meet at this time, well it's not easy every day.
You may have noticed, on my blog, I talk a whole bunch of stuff, but never in my family, actually. It's not today that I will waive the rule. I'm not here to talk about my mother or my father or my in-laws.
- Reason # 1: I'm not crazy! I know that they sometimes read my blog.
- reason No. 2: I'm not crazy (repeat)! I need them, I'm not going to grill now!
- Reason # 3: Seriously, I objectively lucky: we have all relations of adult to adult (or almost), things are going well overall, and there are some adjustments to make, I do not hesitate to express them (as calmly as possible. Well, sometimes I go out the brass knuckles, but it's really in exceptional cases and when they well searched). We also try to establish our authority as parents, to block, in solidarity, to assume our actions and the way we educate our children so that nobody can be too intrusive. Good show but sometimes it is doing. They are, above all there for us, and available for listening. So nothing beats a good little disp ... discussion.
short, anything worth that I gossip on my blog.
But I'll tell you about my feelings about mothers and stepmothers of others. It's much easier, heh heh. And most importantly, I'll let you express yourself, you, on this subject.
Let's be clear: Life is not "A wonderful family." Family, it can be super cool like that, on paper, but it can also quickly turn into a crappy plan.
And grandmothers, let's be honest, even if there are adorable, without liability psychiatric too heavy, there are also crazy. And much even.
Nothing in my environment (broadly defined), I am quite stunned to see how grandmothers can make life hell for their daughter / daughter.
The food, first: It's amazing how the food and women's related. Surely there are a whole bunch of psychological or sociological studies on this theme, but the woman is foster mother. And a grandmother often this reflex: to give food an exaggerated importance.
So I see that give sweet baby bottles, while their daughter has said do not give (it is growing !!!!! weaning period to observe dark, shit!), Or spinning spoons sauerkraut in hiding their little dwarf who does not yet have teeth.
Countless grandmothers downright violent the rules set by their daughter / son ("No, Mom, for the 3rd time, no waffle with Nutella for our daughter three months, even though mixed and diluted in 250 ml milk. No Bündnerfleisch not ") in front or in hiding (I do not know what is best for ...), surely be loved by the little marvel.
I find it shocking when done knowingly. As if to find pleasure in destroying the efforts of parents to enforce their child.
We fully agree, in a group, so that it works, we need a leader. If there are two, and who do things differently, it's anarchy.
Well go do understand that in many grandmothers ...
I also see some friends invaded by their mother / stepmother, which all too often call to find out what time to eat their breakfast son, what time he goes to sleep ... And then, "Have you thought through resume work?" and "I'll be you I'll put it in private, does not do much wrong crowd, because your neighborhood ...", or" my time they put a good spanking, it was not negotiating for a yes or no You'll eat you, "or" anyway you darlings your son too, if it is shy because you suffocated. "What, you still take your shower before my little 2 year old son? But you'll make it a sissy, my dear." One of my girlfriends
undergoes a lot of thoughts on infantilizing his "bad" way to educate his kid.
And grandmothers who are always complaining, too, is a delight ("I have not seen my little treasure for at least 10 days if this keeps up I'll forget his face!")
D others, more perverse and manipulative use of money, for example, as a means of taking power. Donate to the huge financial-small son in the back of his parents, then announce with great fanfare at a family meal, and unworthy of blame parents do not deserve all the largesse they received (at unwittingly), for example. This is a case that exists in my surroundings, and is very painful to live for my friend (should say it is really not spoiled, her stepmother, the wicked bitch is in Snow White. In a little more worse. Yes, yes, it exists in real life!)
Some do not hesitate to exclude explicitly their daughter / son-in monopolizing their grandchild, claiming it is theirs, and therefore denying that the child two families, her mother and her father.
Yes, these examples are quite strong, but I promise you, I seem to see it around me: young moms who are tired of the intrusion of their mothers-in, or who are symbiotic relationship with their mother too.
I do not deny that there a bunch of grandmothers normal, very nice, and available that make us great service. I am fortunate to know. They learn, too, and too bad if sometimes cracks. Nothing matters when each wants to do as well as possible.
As a mom, too, sometimes we may tend to exaggerate. It is on our side and learn to let go a little pressure, to trust, to accept another differently than you do.
But sometimes there are really complicated cases.
So it's true that you can not change someone. A grandmother who has character, we know from longtempts. Rather, his children not to let him walk on foot, to say stop, and often settle things for themselves, even install more distance.
But now, it's sometimes difficult to enforce. And depending on whether or not fear the conflict between the major explanations quat'-z-eye, things are more or less comfortable to live.
I'm not here to conclude anything (except that I'm lucky!).
I hope to be a grandmother correct later, but who knows what life I reserve?
But if you want to comment, please do. I'm sure, well protected behind your nick, you have a bunch of anecdotes or comments about this topic to share with us, readers accomplices.
I'm wrong?
